Breeder by Honni van Rijswijk

Author:Honni van Rijswijk
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Blackstone Publishing
Published: 2021-05-13T20:40:08+00:00

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I hear a click and the voice says, “If you don’t take the pills, we’re going to have to use the gas. It’s up to you.”

It’s the same metallic voice as before. Is it the same person or different people talking through a computer? I’m standing at the mirror in my room. Behind me, on the table, there are ten pills in bright candy colors laid out on a white plastic plate. Hormones, probably. Medication to quiet me down.

A lot of time has passed. A week or more, maybe. The nausea and headaches are still there and, worse than that, my body is changing. Though I’ve never had a five-o’clock shadow or even stubble on my face, since I turned eleven and started Crystal, I’ve had an angular, narrow face. Now when I look in the crappy, wavy mirror stuck to the wall, I can see my face already filling out—looking soft and rounded. Worse than that—much, much worse—is that my chest is filling out too. My nipples itch and the skin around them is starting to swell. It—my body—is so, so disgusting. I want to climb out of it.

The click again, and the voice says, “If you don’t take the pills, we’re going to have to use the gas.”

“I’m not a Breeder!” I shout up to the ceiling, trying to stay calm. “You have to understand! Can you please, please get whoever is in charge here to come speak to me? My units are in credit. I’m not a Breeder!”

The click again, and the voice says, “If you don’t take the pills, we’re going to have to use the gas.”

I turn back to my bed and to the little table next to it. I walk up and choose the pill closest to the edge, the prettiest—it’s purple and blue. I place my index finger behind it and flick it onto the ground. It makes a little tapping sound as it bounces over the concrete. I feel the first flicker of joy that I’ve felt since I regained consciousness in this hellscape.

Then I go down the row and flick each pill onto the floor. They rattle around like teeth. I feel more joy.

Then another click, and the voice says, “Do you think you’re a clever person? That was not a clever thing to do.”

I hear another click and a hissing sound, and clouds of gray gas start puffing through the sprinkler heads in the ceiling. Worth it. A cloud of gas fills my head. I thrash, knocking the plate off the table, overturning the table, kicking the chair to the wall. I start to wobble and grab the side of the bed to stay upright. The door slides open and two figures in orange suits float in and I try to punch them but my arms are porridge, and then there’s a sharp pain in my arm and more fucking black.

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